I’ve realized that even if we do something with the best that we can, the endpoint will still depend on God’s plan. Although if that’s the case, I hope, no, I WON’T stop doing all that I can do in my power. I will just have faith in His plan for me, because everything that happens has a reason. And God knows it all. I don’t intend to sound like a preacher, but that is what I feel.
I don’t know if I am making any sense, but.. Okay, I’ll tell you.. Something not very good happened to me (my studies to be exact). I failed. Again. And it doesn’t seem to stop. I tried my best to study though, I woke up at 3 am just to continue reviewing for Chemistry. And I felt confident that I can pass. But when the time came and I have the test questions in my hands… My hands felt cold and shaky.. A lot of things came to my mind: the consequences if I failed again, telling my parents, dropping the subject or losing my scholarship.. Then, BOOM! I can’t remember a thing that I have reviewed earlier.
I really love the subject to be honest. I’m having fun, I meet great people, make new friends, and I am learning a lot, it’s just that when there’s an exam, I tend to panic specially if there’s a lot at stake. Then again, I will just trust whatever God has planned for me. I did my best, I know God will guide me. 🙂
I also realized that I have a typical Filipino bad trait. Well, It makes me feel better if I am not the only one who flunked.. It’s not that I wanted everyone to fail, it just feels better if there is someone in the same situation like I am, someone I can relate to, and we can get over it together. Unlike when I am the only one.. It feels like I am the smallest dust on the face of the Earth. Hahaha. 😀 Anyway, I have gotten over it; I just wanted to share it to you guys.
Now, on to the brighter side of the moon, I am having fun with my majors!!! 😀 I’ve realized that I am blessed my parents supported me in shifting even if they were reluctant at first. I have a friend in Chem 16, “Barbie”-not her real name. And she told me how her parents pushed her to study BS Geodetic Engineering just because it’ll pay big in the future. She pushed herself to like it, but she isn’t happy with what she’s doing. She told her parents that she wanted to shift to BS HRIM, but they dismissed the idea with degrading the course. She stopped pushing the idea to them, but my friend finally can’t take it anymore, she shifted out without telling her parents. But when she presented the Form 5 to her parents (for the tuition fee), they were all gung-ho! “Oh! Bakit iba na ang course mo?!!” Well, to cut the long story short, she is happy now with what she’s doing. 🙂 And I am happy to with what I am doing. I am thankful for my parents and God’s providence. May everything work well in my life..
Just like the dark and bright sides, the negative and positive spaces, the infamous yin and yang, my life also has to sides. And I prefer to look on the positive ones.